Sunday, November 05, 2006

Living for Las Vegas

Things have been really stressful lately and I've had a lot of imaginary conversations with myself cos I haven't had time to come here and write so I figured it was about time to get here LOL. I take care of my common-law hubby who's disabled from a stroke 4 yrs ago (he's 51). Also lately my sister who lives downstairs (we're in an up/down duplex) has needed some care as she shattered her wrist in a fall, turns out she has osteoporosis. Now that she's recovered enough to take care of herself my hubby's son has had a terrible eye injury involving a roman candle. So now he's living back home (took me 4 yrs to get him out) for now while we deal with his injury and how to put his life back together. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but I'm just really tired.

I've just recently, you probly know from my blog entries, turned 50 and am having some slight, LOL, problems with that so this latest round of stress isn't helping much. But a bright light, in February my oldest sister and I are going to Las Vegas. I told my hubby that I don't care who is ill or going to become ill. I AM GOING TO LAS VEGAS. So that's what keeps me going. But its also occurred to me that once the trip has come what will keep me going after that? There won't always be a big trip coming up to save me from my stress. I need to find some more realistic goals? rewards? incentives? stress relievers? to keep myself going forward and keeping motivated because it doesn't seem like the stress is going to end anytime soon.

I guess I'm just in a blue mood tonite. I've hidden away in my little craft/computer room. The one that used to be my step-son's bedroom and has been lovingly converted into MY room. I'm afraid that due to his injury and being off work someone may suggest that it be converted back. I really don't want to spend my life taking care of 2 disabled men. It's pretty hard at times managing one. So anyone out there in cyberspace with any thoughts or suggestions feel free to weigh in one the subject. I'm for running away and changing my name. But that's just tonite. I'm sure things will look brighter in Las Vegas.